From the monthly archives:

July 2012

Brands that deserve to succeed, Mr Olympic Sausage

by Andrew Watson on 25 July 2012

Thanks for the pointer to this article from the lovely Sam Funnell at ARM. Mr Olympic Sausage sounds like one of those names you come up with for your porn star name by combining the name of your first pet with your mother’s maiden name. In my case Wyn Bolton (or, with the right emphasis, Wyn,after the great Wyn “the Leap” Davies) Bolt-on. Made me laugh anyway.

But no this Mr Olympic Sausage is “a butcher in a town hosting sailing events who had to remove a sign showing the Olympic rings made from sausages.”

Now I guess I would understand if I was Coca-Cola that if I’d paid close on $1bn to sponsor the Games over 4 years, I’d be justifiably miffed if Pepsi ads were then shown all over the main stadium and David Beckham dropped his shorts, a la Niklas Bendtner, and they were advertising the other cola.

But to apply this to Mr Olympic Sausage is just silly. We all know that the Games are now so huge that sponsors need to be attracted so that they can be financially viable. Though whether they need to turn so large a profit and be surrounded by corporate smoothing does somewhat offend my sense of what they are really all about.

But where Mr Olympic Sausage is concerned, what happened to common sense, what happened to that English sense of fair play and quirkiness, what happened to Boris’ wiff waff spirit? Do we have to kill all things that make life sweet and fun and are entirely within the spirit of the Games, just so that the Games’ official sausage sponsor (even if there is one) can say with certainty that they got their money’s worth.

As a former one, I smell the work of fundamentalist lawyers. This breed is precise to 28 decimal places, shows an alarming absence of common sense or commercial sense, becomes the deal rather than just writing it down, and, worse still, charges one arm and one leg for the displeasure and has no sense of fun or joy.  And can quote word for word clause 28.1.1, sub section (ii), sub clause (b) of the 130,000 word sponsorship agreement with the Olympics sausage partner which says “No person other than the Official Sausage Partner can show, demonstrate, hint at or in any way have an association with sausages, on pain of being excruciatingly killed by having to spend 2 full weeks in a locked room full of lawyers……….” Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!.

Common sense is not so common. Is it?

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If for no other reason than she has taken the job, one of the most challenging in the tech world right now, whilst heavily pregnant, and has told her (inevitably) male and (disappointingly)  female doubters, that she is going to do her job and her motherhood her way.

We like this woman already. Though there is a half a sniff that she could be a strategic weapon for Google to make sure Yahoo remains in friendly hands. Like ex-Microsofter,  Stephen Elop in Nokia, it can’t harm to have friends in the right places of some of the war’s more tactical assets.  Don’t shout cynic, instead read the Art of War.

I’m liking this series.

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Google Says Some Apple Inventions Are So Great They Ought to Be Shared-take a bow Kent Walker

July 22, 2012

Slashdot reports today that Google has come up with a really smart way of avoiding all of these pesky and irritating patent fights it is in right now. Referencing an article on All Things D, Google GC Kent Walker comments: “While collaborative [Standards Setting Organizations (SSOs)] play an important part in the overall standard setting […]

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Brands that are about to die…why Joey Barton and Al-Assad are from the same mould

July 20, 2012

If you’re not from the UK, you may not be familiar with the weird combination of part footballer, part philosopher, part hooligan, part socialist, part nutcase, all conundrum that is Joey Barton. More on Joey in later posts, he may yet feature in this series but I’ve not yet made up my mind as to […]

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Ryanair I forgive you..I was wrong….

July 16, 2012

Ha! Fooled you. No of course I don’t. Travel chaos today as my host for a weekend in Bergerac (he will remain nameless) got us to the airport on what he thought was time to find our FlyBe 13.15 flight sitting on the tarmac ready to leave, at 13.15. Oops. Imagine though the joy of […]

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Brands that really deserve to die, Sepp (aka P1) speaks

July 13, 2012

Sepp Blatter did his already junk-bond status reputation further damage with his remarkable remarks to the Joao Havalange and son in law scandal this week. http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/jul/12/sepp-blatter-joao-havelange-fifa Try this one and at first glance the “not my fault” explanation feels semi plausible: “You can’t judge the past on the basis of today’s standards,” he said. “Otherwise […]

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Small rumour-more Facebook buying

July 5, 2012

Apparently Facebook has been on at least two other recent patent splurges. We are digging.

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